Maybe it’s nauseating, but I woke up this morning with the notion to write a post entirely about shit that makes me happy. It’s a beautiful day in Chicago, I just got paid, I slept until 10, and I haven’t read or listened to the news all day. I’m practical farting rainbows and sunshine. And to keep this merriment motorcade movin’ on down the highway, I’m doubling down with a list of things that push my happy button. Hopefully some of them will push yours, too.
1. This face.
2. Biscuits and gravy.
3. Mike 4.0. He’s been going to the gym and eating right, and it’s really given him a boost in the hard drive. He’s been seriously double-clicking my mouse. Downloading my zip files. #gettingpoundeduntillossofmotorskillsoccurs. The husband makes me happy anyway, but he’s been a real magic maker, lately. Yeah, Stairmaster!
4. Wearing shorts and drinking beer in my backyard, Homer Simpson style.
6. Big hair and flashy painted nails. I’m from the Deep South, y’all. Trashy is in my DNA.
7. Rereading a book that you liked and discovering that you actually love it. Currently, it’s Geek Love by Katherine Dunn.
8. This website. There’s nothing that can deflate my stress balloon like a baby pig in rain boots.
9. Getting dirty in the kitchen
10. Swearing. Fucking cunty biscuits, I love to swear.
11. This act with this girl. I love it and her.
12. Sweet tea. Fried things from the sea. Raw oysters. Barbecued ribs. Fried green tomatoes. My mom’s gumbo.
13. Speaking of my mom. She’s the best. Especially when she laughs.
14. This song. And Soul Train.
15. Ass-friendly jeans and a t-shirt. Add a pair of sunglasses and sandals, and I couldn’t feel sexier.
16. Sharing a completely vulgar and offensive joke with the only other person in the world who would think it was funny — my husband.
17. Dick jokes. Also, fart jokes. But not pussy jokes. I have some class.
19. And this.
20. Shaking my ass with complete unabashedness.
There’s more and more and more, if I think about it. But I’ll leave it at the first twenty that popped into my head. Happy Fucking Friday, y’all!!
Okay, one more of the dog face: